Nobody Cares
by Page of Doom
Summary: Nobody understands what it's like to be Belarus. Nobody understands what it's like to be in love with your own brother, and know he most likely hates you. She's not insane or obsessed, she's just... misunderstood.


Title: Nobody Cares

Author: animecookiefairy

Genres: Angst

Summary: Nobody understands what it's like to be Belarus. Nobody understands what it's like to be in love with your own brother, and know he most likely hates you. She's not insane or obsessed, she's just... misunderstood.

Warnings: Angst-y Belarus

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, and be glad I don't.

_A/N_

_An idea that came to mind while roleplaying with a friend over text. I was a slightly more angst-y Belarus at times... and so I decided to write this on Springpad and then copy and paste it to a Word Document. This is actually my first drabble/one-shot~! Everything else is incomplete multi-chapters. :P Well, there's really not much more to be said, so enjoy!_

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><p>They don't understand me. Not a single one of them understands how I truly am. They think I'm just some psycho who chases down her older brother and demands his hand marriage. No, it's not like that at all. I love him, I really do. I've been in love with him for years now. I just have an odd way of showing it, is all.<p>

I can't say when I found myself falling in love with him, but I remember how I felt. _It's not right_ I would often think. _He's your _brother, _Natalia. You_ can't _be in love with him. You just can't. _I gave up on that way of thinking after a while. I loved him, and there was nothing wrong with that.

I can clearly remember the day I told him how I truly felt. Big sister Ukraine likes to pretend she doesn't remember, but she was right there with us when it happened. And you can tell she clearly remembers. We were all three sitting by the sunflower field, where we often liked to sit and spend time together. It was a beautiful day, and we had been silently enjoying it, for the most part. For some reason, I felt like I should tell him. "B-Big brother?" He tilted his head and looked at me. That look on his face... that beautiful, irresistible look... it was always the best thing about him. "I love you." "I love you too, little sister" I sighed. "N-no I mean it... I _love _you," I said, blushing heavily. My big sister laughed... something between a nervous laugh and a "that's so sweet" giggle. My big brother looked at me with an apologetic look in his eyes. "o-oh well, I am sorry I do not return such feelings," he said. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. _Nice going, Natalia._

Just like that. I had my answer. I felt myself about to cry, I knew had to leave before my siblings saw me. I got up and started to walk away without a word "Bela-" I started running before either of them could do a thing about it. I heard their voices in the distance and knew they were running after me. They knew they wouldn't be able to catch me, we all knew it. I may be the youngest, but I'm also the fastest runner. "T-try to catch up with her..." I heard my sister's voice say. "m-my back..."

I began to run even faster, and managed to get home and lock myself in my room without big brother catching me. I immediately fell on my bed and sobbed into the sky blue pillow. Hours past, and I was now sitting up, hugging the pillow to my chest, tears still pouring down my cheeks "H-he loves me..." I mumbled to myself. "H-he just won't admit it..." I heard a quiet knock at my door and jumped slightly. "Go away," I said with no emotion in my voice. "B-Belarus?" It was Ukraine. I head he chest bounce as she moved closer to the door or something. "Little sister...please doesn't cry..."

"I'm not crying."

"I know that you are."

"Why would I do something that weak?"

"It's not weak to cry, Natalia! P-please just open the door!" She started sobbing. "I-I just want to make sure my little sister is alright! Is it s-so wrong to c-care?" I heard her breasts bounce as she fell to the ground sobbing.

I sighed, wiping away my tears and opened the door. "Get up and stop crying," I said in a slightly annoyed voice. Her sobs slowly faded and slowly stood up. "I-I'm sorry, sister," she said. "Don't be. If anyone, I- no, _he _should be sorry for ruining our day."

"You can't force him to love you, Nat-"

"Who ever said I was forcing him?" I felt myself near tears. "I-I just... I /really/ love him is all."

"I knew you did. Even before today, I could tell."

"H-how?"

"Big sisters know /everything/ about their dear little siblings," she said with a smile. I stared at her blankly and she sighed. "Anyway, I really just wanted to tell you, that you will always have the support of your starsha sestra."

"Fine. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight." I shut the door in her face before she could say another word. I heard her sigh again. "Zalyshay̆tesya sylʹnymy, sestrychka …" I heard her say before she walked off. As soon as I could no longer hear footsteps or bouncing breasts, I immediately resumed crying.

I can't remember when I became "obsessed" with big brother... I just snapped one day. I began to Chase him down, demanding we get married. I can, however remember the first time a used a knife to hurt someone other than myself...

Ever since I had snapped, I kept a few knives on me at all times. They weren't meant to hurt anyone other than myself, but one day... one day I got sick of what I /knew/ the other countries were saying about me.

It was after another (quite unsuccessful) world conference meeting that ended has they always do. Germany screaming at us about how we never get anything done. I wasn't involved in any of the childish arguments; I just sat there, staring at big brother the entire time. (This was back before I used my knives to harm or threaten others, so wasn't holding a knife to Latvia's neck.)

"Hey, Bel!" I heard a certain annoying hamburger freak say. "America," I said, turning around to face him. "Never call me that again."

"Whatever, man! Hey what's with you and the commy bastard? I mean, Russia." No response, just a blank stare. "I mean, he's your brother! Why are you so focused on marrying him? Why not go out with someone less related to you? I heard about a certain hero who-" I shoved my hand in his face as he leaned closer to me. "My heart belongs to big brother, and only to big brother." I said, turning around to walk away. "I should've known better than to try to reason with the incest bitch..." I heard him mumble. That was it. _That_ was my breaking point. In on fluid movement, I pulled a knife out of my dress, turned back towards him, move close enough to attack, and sliced right through that stupid jacket of his. "Shit!" He screamed out in pain. His arm was bleeding. A lot. I didn't know what to do, so I ran. A cowardly thing to do, but it was my only option.

That same night, as I was going to bed, someone knocked on my door. "Belarus, it's Russia." I heard a voice say on the other side of the door. I opened the door; I was wearing a blue nightgown and my bow halfway undone. I looked at him emotionlessly. I was far too tired to chase after him at that moment, and I'm pretty sure he knew that. Which is exactly why he decided to approach me at night. "I heard about what happened with Alfred," he said. I continued to look at him without the slightest bit of emotion on my face. "I don't know what you're talking about, big brother."

"You do and you know you do. When did you start carrying knives?"

"Recently." I attempted to hide my arms so he couldn't see the self-inflicted cuts.

"Natalia, can I see your arms?"

He was serious. He only called me by my real name when he was serious. Still, I hid my arms more, and shook my head. "Nattie..." he said in a worried voice. I sighed and showed him my scar-covered arms. They weren't hard to see, considering my nightgown had short sleeves. He studied the scars for a minute. "You did this, da?" I closed my eyes and nodded, hiding the incoming tears. "It's fine to hurt others, but don't hurt yourself anymore," he said as he walked out the door. "Goodnight, sestrenka" As soon as he closed the door-I didn't even care if he heard me-I cried. I don't know why I cried. Were they tears of joy because I thought he cared... or tears of sadness because I knew he didn't? I was probably crying because I knew he didn't. He never did. He _knows _what they say about me. He _knows_ how they talk to me. He's _seen _them. He doesn't do anything! I _know_ he hates me. I just _know_ it. He can't even stand to be around me!

As long as he Ivan hates Natalia, Natalia will be insane. She will still chase after him. She will still use knives to hurt herself and those around her. But secretly, Natalia will cry. Cry and hope that one day, Ivan will love her. Maybe one day, someone will see who she really is. Anyone. She would be thankful. She would still love Ivan, and she always will. But, if anyone saw through that wall, maybe-just maybe-she could start to move on a little. But, that would never happen. Because nobody cares.

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><p><em>AN_

_Looking over this while listing to Disappearance of Hatsune Miku... it makes me cry double tears. ),: _

_Moving on, I love love LOVE this idea, but I think a lot of people could've done it A LOT better than me. I'm really not that good at writing. XP _

_I may want to continue this... but I'm not sure how. My idea is have someone see how she truly is... but I don't know who. If you have any ideas, just tell me! I am willing to write pretty much anything, because anything will help me grow as an author. _

_Until next time,_

_~animecookiefairy_


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